On learning to sleep through kicks and how I'm just as likely to cry over…
Apologies in advance for any worse than usual grammar and story fragmentation, I am not in a mood to play editor and proofread…
After crying a few months ago about the changing pad that I wanted being out of stock everywhere I finally found a store that just got it back in stock and had to spend money I really shouldn’t have ordering it! I can’t resist, it’s got dragonflies and it matches the wetbag, pail liner and one of the diaper covers! It brings me joy 😀
Whereas most moms have a shopping obsession with baby clothes, my obsession is with cloth diapers, I have more than enough diapers to work with but when the consignment store announced they got a bunch of new ones in, I had to go in and it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t buy the tie dye diaper they had. So yes, I have spent more on cloth diapers than I could have but I’m still hundreds of dollars ahead of the game than if I were to buy disposables for the first year alone.
Apparently I look “like I’m about to pop” because anytime that I leave the house I’m approached my more strangers than ever saying “soon?!” or asking about my due date and then I get to watch their eyes pop out of their heads when I respond “last Thursday”. Then I get the pity look and the “aaww, you look so tired!” or “you must be exhausted!” thanks for stating the obvious!
Yes, I am freaking tired most of the time but I just take it easy and be patient. I am not going around screaming “get it out of me!” so I don’t understand why others are so intent on rushing the process.
Now everybody and their mother has an unsolicited opinion on what we should do to induce labor. Because they just assume that since I’m “overdue” that I am anxious to try everything to evict this baby and because they think that until they came along I would have never known that I should: be having sex, eat a pineapple, drink castor oil or ::insert one of dozens of induction methods here:: It’s a repeat of the whole fiasco of everybody saying “put your feet up” when I mentioned the swollen feet. Haven’t you all learned by now that I read almost as much as I breathe and therefore would have at some point stumbled upon that nugget of knowledge? From now on I’ll take these suggestions as insults to my intelligence, give me some credit!
The funny thing is that my husband gets most of the advice, the poor guy; although perhaps he may not deserve so much sympathy given as to how he will go out of his way to announce the bun as running late.
Please remember (or learn) that the average human gestation period is 37 TO 42 weeks and that an Estimated Due Date is just that an ESTIMATE and not an expiration date!
We appreciate people’s concerns and we may explore options if we get closer to 42 weeks at which point the state imposes a deadline for me to pop by. Your suggestions for induction options are not needed, we have a long list of things to try and Google can add to that with a simple search and whatever that goes beyond the basic stuff like walking and eating pineapples will be in consultation with our midwife.
“The first intervention in natural childbirth is the one that a healthy woman does herself when she walks out the front door of her own home in labour.”
— Michael Rosenthal, OB/GYN (from Midwifery Today E-news 7:24)
I haven’t really touched this topic on this blog as people tend to be very passionate about it and therefore get their panties in a twist easily yet are unable to intelligently defend their opinion with valid reasons but this is my virtual home and I can say whatever I want in my house and I just need to vent somewhere…
What are some of the other reasons we humans disfigure our children? Religious and cultural…of course.
Religious: Well, I guess if you are Jewish, and dinky dissection is something you really believe your God wants, then go for it. Personally, I can’t figure out why God would want you to cut off something he just gave your son, if he did not want it there why put it in the first place? But I respect your faith and keep my mouth shut.
Cultural: “I don’t want my son’s penis to look different than mine” or “I don’t want my son to feel different in the locker room” are shit reasons. To all the dads out there: Get over yourself! Just because your parents mutilated you doesn’t mean you have to pass on the love.
I really feel that parents who would sooner subject their children to an unnecessary medical procedure rather than educate their children on health issues are the same shitty parents who use the TV as a baby sitter, and candy as a pacifier.
Ultimately, little boys are human beings, not property. I say teach them the options, and let’s see how many 18 year olds choose to go under the knife. On a personal note, I have met only 1 man that consciously chose to get circumcised as an adult to please his wife and years later he is still living with regret over his decision and wishing that he could go back in time.
It’s not unexpected for parents who circumcise to be defensive about what they did. To be fair, things are far different now than they were decades ago. At that time, circumcision was nearly universal in the United States. There was much less information available, and there was no internet where one could go to easily access it as well as hear innumerable personal experiences.
Parents decades ago can be much more easily excused than new parents of today. But I also think those who circumcised decades ago should recognize the importance of openly re-evaluating their decision in light of current knowledge, including the regrets of their male children. Not only because it’s the honest thing to do, but also because it’s meaningful to those who lost an important part of their body and can’t ever get it back. Just because you did it to your son shouldn’t automatically entitle you to pressure others to do it to theirs.
And to those that think that it’s just a tiny piece of excess skin… It’s actually up to 50% of the skin (unfolded on a grown man measures the size of a 3×5″ index card!), and 80% of the nerve endings. The foreskin has 20,000 nerve endings (compared to 4,000 nerve endings in the glans).
Just because you are responsible for your child’s well being until they are old enough to run their lives in my opinion doesn’t automatically grant the authority to perform a procedure that is NOT recommended by any medical organization in the world, that has very serious risks of complication including possible death and that at the very least is not reversible should your boy grow up to decide that he wants his foreskin after all.
And if you are dead set in getting your buy cut, I just hope that you’ll take the time to watch an uncensored video of the procedure from beginning to end without closing your eyes, turning your head or throwing up and make sure you are in the room when the doctor puts the clamp on and takes the scalpel to your baby.
And I agree with the sentiments of an online blogger:
“My heart aches for the parents that circumcise and then later regret it. My head explodes for those that have a chance to know better and don’t take it”
So yes, I’m an intactivist and that shouldn’t surprise you. I’m sure that some people will want to throw shit my way over this and that’s fine, just remember that this blog is my house and I don’t throw poop at you when you say what you want at your own home so chances are that it will be ignored. And if someone wants to learn more, visit www.savingpenises.org for a Prepuce Information Pack.
On things that make me roll my eyes and shake my head…
A new mom in one of the forums that I frequent is whining about how her baby is allergic to regular formula and can only tolerate a special kind so she now will have to buy a fancy formula that costs $59 a can while in the same conversation she complains about how painful it is to wait for her milk supply to dry up. WTF?
ACOG (American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists) is now supporting VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean), this is great news overall but I can’t help but feel a sense of “wait and see” on what it’s actual effect will be. I would love this having an effect in reducing the epidemic c-section rate in this country but that may be too optimistic on my part. It’s not the first time that ACOG changes its mind about something but it doesn’t really lead to the expected change in hospital practice.
I recall food and drinks in labor being a recent reversal. The old standard of nothing to eat and nothing to drink during labor, which-is-likely-the-most-physically-challenging-and-intense-thing-you-will-do-in-your-lifetime-and-you-get-nothing-to-drink has been reversed. This was reversed a while ago.
Yet, side note, a friend just emailed me the online description of her hospital’s maternity ward (Yes, I have friends who birth in hospitals). It flat-out says that the expectant mom shall have only clear broth and ice chips. It strictly forbids food and water for the expectant mother (Can one go to jail for drinking water while in labor?)
The other thing is the wording on ACOG’s new statement. It’s tricky.
Here’s the gist of what they say: Yes, they will encourage VBAC mothers to have a trial of labor (but then what? “Oh sorry dear, You tried and failed, like we anticipated, so we are prepping you for your second (or third or fourth) c-section. Good effort though.”)
But at least it’s a step in the right direction.
If ACOG reversed its decision on food and water and now on VBACs, is it possible to think that they may one day reverse their stance on other issues… such as homebirth? Not holding my breath but I do believe in miracles.
The latest example of how some medical professional use a patient’s ignorance for their convenience…. a couple of days ago woman is in labor at the hospital, she is progressing well but since she is going through it natural she is making some noises to handle the contractions. She had been lying on her back for several hours (known to put pressure on which can reduce oxygen supply to the baby), baby’s heart rate slows down as a result. Nurse tells her “you have to get an epidural or we will have to do an emergency C-section”, she didn’t know any better so she got the epidural and the nurses didn’t have to deal with her making noises the rest of the night while her dream of natural childbirth was flushed down the toilet and she needed to have a vacuum assisted delivery because she was too numb to push effectively (while still lying on her back).
Now she’s kicking herself because she didn’t realize that if she just changed positions baby’s heart rate would have normalized on its own (which it did when she had to sit up to have the epidural needle inserted but by then she had been scared by the nurse).
So remember, there are great doctors and nurses out there but you can’t count on them being on call when you show up to the hospital, you don’t have to go to medical school before getting pregnant but make sure you have a solid foundation of information so that you won’t have your naivete used against you!