Zen Brian Fox was born at 7:47am on July 17, 2012. He was 8 lbs, 12 oz and 20 inches long.
The birth story will follow in a few days, weeks or months, not sure when since I don’t get as much computer time as I used to.
My previous post seemed to have caused quite the shock in some and since comments were disabled I got some comments privately but I just wanted to clarify a misunderstanding that some people seem to have. Yes, I was disappointed I didn’t have him the way it was planned but I knew that plans are made to be broken and the actual birth experience was not traumatic for me. I do not believe that I had an “unnecesarean.”
Speaking of unnecesareans, in my work I come accross many mothers that have the same surgeon that cut me open as their OB, and I started to notice a pattern where they all had cesareans. It became an alarming pattern so for the past 10 days I’ve been keeping an anonymous count of moms that have “delivered” with that doctor and right now the tally stands at 21 cesareans/0 vaginal births, scary huh? Given that the pattern has been in place for months before I started counting I feel I can safely rule out coincidence as a factor.
Moving on… no just because he turned one I am not weaning. That is the answer that I had to give our pediatrician at Shammy’s 1 year appointment. I really only go to him because I don’t have private insurance to take him to Dr Punger. He knew to back off when I spoke his language and said “I work as a breastfeeding couselor for the Health Department”, he then knew that there was no point in pressing the matter. He forgets that the AAP states breastfeeding for 1 year as a MINIMUM and the World Health Organization recommends a minimum of 2 years.
A lot of people seemed surprised that I didn’t do the ritual turning around of the car seat on July 30th. “But he’s legal to face forward now” they say. Just because it is legal, it doesn’t mean that it’s safe. The American Academy of Pedriatics recommends that children remain rear facing until 2 years old. He doesn’t know what he is missing and I have more peace of mind.
A few weeks ago Shammy got his first haircut, it was a bittersweet experience. I loved his long hair but it was hard to keep it looking groomed. We got him a mohawk and boy did he look cool. For his first experience we took him to a kids salon and it was worth it, they had tons of toys, Spongebob Squarepants was there and he got his hair cut while sitting in a police car. At the end he got a certificate with some of his hair, a balloon and a sticker. Aside from the McDonald’s drive thru toy in the waiting area I was very satisfied with them and would recommend them. I miss his hair but love his new look.
The title may sound arrogant and if there was indeed a grading scale I would not have a perfect score (more than once I put him in PJ’s and forgot all about the bath) but at least I’m good on the important parts.
For the past month I’ve been dealing with child proofing blues. It’s something that we should have done long ago but kept procrastinating on. I look at our house and it feels like a baby death trap, there is so much to do that I don’t know how to accomplish it all without moving half of the house into storage/ dumpster.
Now that Shammy is mobile and getting into everything, it was time to get into gear. I’m very watchful of Shammy when he’s playing but sometimes I need to not be hovering so much without interrupting his play, like when cooking dinner or doing laundry. Plus I am trying to find a balance between keeping him safe without being too overprotective and letting the kid crawl and explore.
We had wanted to get a playard aka baby jail for a while and found a very good deal on it at a consignment sale but once put it together I felt like it was too much like jail despite being so large. So then it was time to sit down with the husband and decide on which room of the house we were going to surrender to the baby. The natural choice would have been the baby’s room (which is currently only used for diaper changing and baby stuff storage, lol) but I didn’t want him to be isolated when playing.
We finally decided to surrender the dining room, the table had not been used for dining in months anyway and Shammy would get to enjoy the nice view to the backyard. And so we started the process of relocating furniture and a bird to transform part of the space into a fun haven.
Now that he’s becoming more independent I am actually starting to get stuff done at home besides the bare minimum. It’s still nothing close to spring cleaning and it will take a while to recover from all of the months of spot cleaning and tidy messes.
I am very proud to have achieved the 8 month breastfeeding milestone, it was touch and go for a little bit there on the exclusive factor. I no longer have a freezer stash and Shammy’s schedule since daylight savings time means that I never have an opportunity to pump at a time when I would get a decent output.
Shammy has never tasted formula in his life but I have reached the point where it’s not the end of the world if it comes to that, he’s older than 6 months, he’s eating other foods, it’s not the end of my philosophical world anymore.
No, I’m not done breastfeeding, not even close. What I’m close to being done with is stressing over how many ounces are in the freezer vs how many he will need while hanging at grandma’s. Stressing doesn’t lead to a good letdown and that leads to tiny pumped amounts, it’s a horrible cycle that I’ve been stuck in for a couple of weeks.
Nothing is official but the current tentative plan is that I will continue to breastfeed full time and pump while working but supplement to make up the difference when I’m not around. 95% or more of his milk will still be breast milk, I will still pump when away from him for more than 5 hours. I have not made any purchases, but I already researched brands. We’ll see… I’ve said it before and I’ll say this again, I bow down to exclusively pumping mamas, I don’t know how they do it, here I am stressing myself dry over occasional pumping.
I’m glad to wean off the pump except for work but not yet ready to wean my son. This week I cried along with a heartbroken mama whose toddler self weaned this week. She had no idea that it was the last time when it happened. Every time I nurse Shammy I try to savor it because I know that it will be over before I know it and will miss it too.
For the past few weeks we have been dealing with mild separation anxiety. One of the things that I have found to help is laying the shirt that I wore that day in his bed, I have found that he sleeps better that way.
Now that he has learned to call me Mama I can no longer tell my husband “it’s your turn”. He says that Shammy has quickly learned that saying that equals fast response and that is fine. I’d rather him know that he can call me and I will come than having to resort to crying to get the attention he wants.
For a few weeks Shammy would eat from anyone that wasn’t me, it was challenging since I would be the only one available during the weekdays most times. This made me consider BLW (Baby Led Weaning- where you skip the purees and let baby feed himself) so I experimented and it was a success. I can’t say that I’m a total convert but I will probably do it here and there.
Something interesting that I’ve learned over the past couple of weeks, the first diaper to go in the pail after I put in a load of laundry is always a poopy one! I wash diapers every other day and this has been accurate for 3 weeks and counting, lol. So I guess that if I want him to poop on command I just need to throw some diapers in the washer.
This week’s rant is a short one:
If you’re thinking of breastfeeding your baby, be warned: People will think you’re stupid. That’s right, a recently published report highlighted not one, but three studies that found people think of women who breastfeed as less competent than “otherwise identical women.” Seriously?!
In my opinion a woman that breastfeeds is smarter than a woman that formula feeds (by choice, not circumstance) because it means that the nursing mama is well informed about the benefits of breastmilk over formula and knows that it’s way easier to lift up a shirt in the dark than hunt for a bottle you hopefully remembered to prepare at 3am.